The Ever Sung but Never Tired Song of Realization
To be honest I do not know how to start this. It is always hard to give appreciation to those people in your life who have done so much for you. Those people who are always at your side fighting; not only their own personal battles but helping and guiding you to win your own personal wars. Those who sacrifice their lives so that they can make yours better. Those who sacrifice and love can never fully be realized until after you leave the comfort of their arms into the dark cold frost without their fire.
This person, I believe, everyone has, whether we recognize them or not. This person who has spent more than one sleepless night thinking about how they can help you. Thinking about what more can be done to support your life and guide you. This person whose prayers to God include more pleading and tears shed about your troubles and confusion than your own. That person who has always, will always, and forever be there for you.
This is my song that I wish to sing. This is that love and appreciation for them that they don’t need, don’t ask for, but deserve and is there true eternal reward. This is that song that is impossible to finish without both parties in a loving embrace, in tears, not wanting to leave the moment. For they know when they do the moment can never come again.
This is the letter sent, card read, text received, phone call treasured, conversation held, song sung, poem written, and thought that could never be explained. This is what you wanted to say every time when the love and appreciation for someone has caught your tongue harder than the cat ever could. This is the gratitude for someone who has literally given their life to serve you and would give it over again more fully if they ever could.
This is the memory of struggling together as you learn something that the other has long since forgotten, but still able to teach with vigor and pride. This is the memory of bad days and sad memories that have been replaced lovingly to the side. This is the longing for someone, something, some way to really show what they have done. To live up to their sacrifice, their love, their guide. To find some way to show that all their work and effort spent, every tear and sorrow rent, every repeated word and lesson taught, every great desire and dream that they so sought.
Every time at a table trying to learn the impossible. Every time they made it plausible; to start again to start anew. To reach the dream you both have for you. Every time they lead your hand, in the crowd or in the sand. To reach something once though inconceivable, to reach something insurmountable. Because they knew - oh how they knew - the pain and trials, all the things they sent us though, would be for the best. Better now than later they knew. For when later comes those odds may really be impossible, so they strain, and they stroke, they work and they will, they try and they teach so that you may be fulfilled.
So that you can have more, have it easier for you. For they know that this is not for them, no it could not be so; not for their gain or to reign. For no one could work that hard that long with that much strain but to lift others from theirs and to let them reign. To let you sore far higher than they ever would, to let you change much more than they ever could. To let you be the one who reached farther, went higher, went longer, did what they perceived as what they needed to be stronger. To really let you be the one who got to testify: I changed the world; I am able to fly.
For them that is enough. For them to see you succeed. To see you grow is their deepest desire. To see you glow is their prayer this and every hour. Glow with the spirit and love of Christ. To grow into the man or woman that they have seen in their dreams. Their greatest brag, their greatest love, greatest strength, greatest reason is you.
You this person seemingly random. You this person who seems to let down their dreams at every turn. You this person who knows that most of the time their dreams for you are bigger than your own. You this person who is littler yet bigger than they will ever know.
But then you realize they have taught, know, and loved you all your life. Then you realize that you could never do such a thing for their only dream is for you to grow. Then you realize that their dreams are better than your own. Then you realize that all they want is for you to grow. Yet at the same time, every time, they just don’t want you to go. They remember a time simpler of what seems to be centuries ago, but in reality, was only your lifetime or so.
Then you realize more of all they’ve done. For it is impossible to know it all, to say it all, to show it all. For you nor they remember it all. For them it is just how they live. None of it a truly big sacrifice, just a way to give. A gift of life, of knowledge, of strength. A gift of love, of kindness, of grace. A gift that can never fully be explained. For if one tried it would have surly shrunk in the rain. The rain of thoughts so big and small. The rain of time and lists so truly long. For you truly love them not only for what they have done. Not only what they will do. Not only for what they are doing, but you love them for who they are. The example they set, the opportunities they gave that you eventually let.
So, you just stand there thinking about their sacrifice, their love and kindness all of their sleepless nights. Thinking about how you can express all of the gratitude, but you can’t for it just swells to tears without words, or unworthy curds. Of what should have could have been so in your mind and heart so big you just stand there waiting for the inspired words to come, but all that does is
Thank you, Dad, for all that you have done.
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