Yesterday Was Plain Awful

Yesterday was the hardest day that I have had since having Megan.  I was suffering from allergies really bad and I have a cold so that was really making me feel really sick.  Josh did not sleep well the night before, he kept coming in to our bed and then he woke up super early and kept me awake.  Megan didn't do too bad, but I was stuck with her in the chair so I didn't sleep well and so when Josh came in the front room super early and bugged me the whole time, I was not a happy sick momma.  So it was not a good way to start my day.  I pretty much had no patience and just wanted to go crawl into bed for the rest of the day.  

I called my mom about nine to see if we could go over there and she could help me with the kids, but she didn't answer.  I called my mom and dad's cell phone and neither of them answered.  I was so bummed.  I didn't know for sure if I had allergies or a cold...I am pretty sure I have both. 

I was not patient with my children at all...let's say I was a bad mom yesterday.  I yelled, I cried, I said things I wish that I hadn't, I was even getting frustrated with little baby Megan.  I had to put her down twice just to let her cry because she was being so fussy and I was getting really frustrated.  The boys just would not listen to me and so I would have to yell...and yell...and maybe throw a couple shoes...it was not good.  I remember my mom yelling and throwing things like a crazy lady - and I am now a crazy lady my self.

I was able to calm down, I still cried a lot, but I did say sorry to Tyler and Josh.  I said sorry multiple times and made sure that they both knew how much I loved them and told them that mommy would work on not yelling so much and being more patient and they would work on being better listeners.

I was able to talk to my sister Julie and that helped.  After I talked to her my awesome neighbor, Gwen, came over to see if Tyler could play with her daughter, Ava.  She saw how terrible I looked and asked if everything was ok, then of course I started crying.  So being the wonderful person she is she took Tyler and Josh for me and let them play at her house so I would just have to deal with Megan.  It was nice to not worry about the boys fighting or being naughty and just hold a sleeping Megan.  Then my mom called me and it was nice to talk to her as well.  It really helps me to be able to talk to other moms.  

Today was a much better day.  Josh and Megan slept well and my allergies were much better.  We spent the day at my parents and hung out with my mom.  My mom helped with the kids and it was much better.  It is so good to have another day to be a better mom and a better person.  All I can do is repent and try to do better.  My kids will forgive me, my husband doesn't judge me, and I will learn from this experience and continue to try and be better.