Having Children

Tyler hanging out on his changing table

Silly baby

Having a child has been a roller coaster ride for me. When I first had Tyler I loved having him and he was such a good baby. But then at about 5 weeks I started getting anxious about the future. I would worry about how I would handle him when he was in the terrible two's and throwing fits. I think back and wonder why I was being so dumb, but at the time it was a real issue that was getting me depressed. I found that talking to people REALLY helped me and I got over that within a couple of weeks. Then Tyler developed so quickly. He started crawling at 6 months, walking at 9, and has been such a "big boy" ever since. It is amazing how quickly they go from baby to toddler. My mom told me when I first had Tyler to enjoy having a new born, because they aren't a new born for very long. So I did, and I am glad that I listened to my mom.

Thinking now to the future and about getting pregnant again, I have a lot of different emotions. I would love to have another baby, a little girl would be nice. I think that Tyler would be a good big brother and that they could entertain each other. Then I think about actually being pregnant. . . being sick all the time, being so tired all the time, throwing up all the time, being the most unattractive you ever are... yet at the same time you are growing a life inside of you... amazing. Tony wants six kids. That seems like an awful lot of kids to me. I am thinking more around four (that is a lot too). I guess we will just have to see what happens. I am afraid that I don't have the patience needed to have that many children. Some days I don't have the patience needed for the one kid I have.

Over all, I love being a mom. I love it when Tyler hugs my head so tight and gives me big kisses
(open mouth mind you). He is so active and really keeps me going all day long, but we have a good time. I keep my mind on the now and enjoy what I have. Having a baby has really changed my life, but I wouldn't have it any other way.